“But my son or daughter doesn’t want to read!”
As an English-as-a-second-language (ESL) teacher, I hear this common complaint all the time when I ask if their children read at home.
I also hear interesting stories about how parents try to get their children to read by:
buying books and magically wait for their kids to read them
promising them rewards if they read them
threatening them with “unpleasant consequences” IF they don’t read them
lecturing them about the “benefits” of reading the books
The drama queen I am, I’ve recoiled in horror or laughed out loud when I listen to these stories. No, I’m happy to report that no Mother or Father have either
a) met the Principal to sack me or
b) shown disgust or displeasure at my reactions.
Hey…I’m a nice teacher genuinely interested in helping their kids improve their English. More often than not, they end up laughing themselves as they share with me these attempts 
After some sympathy or laughs, I ask a few more questions to better understand the situation e.g.
1. What are the types of books bought?
2. Did the child choose ANY of them?
3. Where are the books located? Are they easily accessed?
4. Do the kids hang out near them?
5. Are there any strict rules about the books? (Other than having their toys taken away, butt spanked, allowances cut, TV denied or McDonald’s banned for a 1-2 months LOL) For example, the books can only be read in that room, at a certain time, cannot be bent etc…
When the answers to Q2-Q5 are NO, NO, NO and YES, I’ll make a funny face and go,
“Ahh…how are they going to read if they are treated like prisoners? And the books are not their choice? And the books are treated MORE PRECIOUS than them?”
The parents usually respond:
1. If I let them choose, they’ll only choose comic books, love stories and other “nonsense” books…They must read the good books, right?
2. We should teach them to respect books, right? Also, books are expensive. They must keep them nicely. If they don’t respect the books, then the books will be taken from them. If not, how to become “educated”?
I’ll ask them back:
1. If I gave you 3 books: Lilian Too’s “World of Feng Shui”, a famous author’s “How to Be a Millionaire” and this thick book of 14th century English literature, which would you choose? (laughing and shaking my head as they laugh too)
2. Do you want kids who love to read and re-read their favourite books again and again OR a beautiful bookshelf of expensive, new-looking books which NOBODY reads? (The parents raise their hands in surrender LOL)
As the final move, I pause and say,
“I’m going to suggest a few ways to set up a home library and I can GUARANTEE you you’ll be surprised to see your kid reading at least 1-2 books from it.
And if you continue with what I suggest, your son or daughter will be asking to buy more books that you’ll start to say ‘Only 1 book a month!’ “
The parents look interested and happy but I stress to them that it’s a) not an overnight miracle and b) they MUST try their best before declaring it a failure.
1. Switch off the TV at least 1-2 hours a day when the family is awake and at home. The radio is OK.
2. Parents MUST be seen reading (and enjoying) a book themselves – ok, newspapers and magazines count but do pick up a book sometimes
3. Read to your children. Children love their parents’ attention more than anything else thus curling up or snuggling up with you and a book gives them the greatest joy. Don’t worry…this isn’t permanent as soon they’ll want to read the book themselves. Sigh and you’ll miss those bonding moments…
4. Set up an open shelf with various books there – the family’s selection can all be placed there, with books for younger kids on a low shelf. Books for toddlers can be separated but I’ve not had the need to do that EVEN with my super-active, naughty toddler
It’s important that the kids can see and get the books themselves. Usually, glass-cased bookshelves are not very encouraging…
The photo above shows our home library here in China. Lucas’ books are in front and under the glasstop. Hubby’s and mine are at the back. Even though it’s right next to the TV, he frequently goes for his books even when the TV is on.
I’ve recently enforced the “No TV” rule i.e. if he wants me to read, the TV must be off.
The little fella will turn it off first, announcing,
“Shish off TV! Read books!”
5. In buying books for your kids, it’s best to start off with what they LIKE. From there, introduce other titles you’d like your child to read.
The key here is to have a VARIETY of reading materials as they’ll benefit from the information, ideas and knowledge from multiple perspectives.
For example, Lucas is CRAZY over trains and he has about 6 books now on trains or transport. To encourage a balanced book diet, you will notice that I have other books slotted there too i.e.
- LadyBird “Read it Yourself” series – short stories
- LadyBird “Keyword Reading Scheme” series – essential vocabulary to help with reading skills
- the Bright Baby books – to build his vocabulary
- books about animals – different subject area other than trains!
- Chinese colouring books – to support his learning Chinese at school
6. Discuss the books with them if they show interest. Or you can show interest. Don’t lecture or ask them as a father or mother would!
Instead, approach them (esp teenagers) as you would your colleague, neighbour or another adult. You’ll be surprised at the insight your young reader shows from the discussion.
Also, refrain from acting shocked or horror-struck when they make shocking remarks on politics, sex or other debatable issues. Discussing with them about ensures that communication channels are always open among family members and it’s a great chance for you to fill in gaps for your children.
What if you can’t give all the answers? No matter how educated or experienced we parents may be, we are not experts on every subject (although we could try to be). Suggest that they talk to their best teacher about it, check it out in an encyclopedia or join them on a discovery through the Internet.
With a young child, ask questions that they can answer, eg:
1. “I can see the sun, a flower…what can you see? Show Mummy…”
2. “Uh-oh, what happened here?”
Or, you can even feign tiredness (as I often do LOL) and let the child “read” the book. Lately, Lucas has been trying to show off what a “big boy” he is by holding the book and reading out the words or telling the story of a few books.
I hope that our experiences give you an idea of how to set up a home library and encourage your child to read. Remember to make the experience an enjoyable one – and you’ll have your child reading this book or that book all the time.
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{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }
I have successfully taught my 2 older sons how to read with, “How to Teach Your Child to Read in 100 Easy Lessons” by Siegfreid Englemann
It is a systematic phonics method (Direct Instruction)
The result is that they were in the top of their class afterwards.
Vince – Wow, there ARE such books for reading too? Amazing…you’ve me curious about this book now
Fortunately my mother never had a problem with me. All it took was for me to see her sitting in her favorite chair in the evening lost in a good book. I wasn’t even two before I started pestering her to teach me to read. (She did.)
This is a very good post with common sense tips–I hope people follow them!
Cathy – Good for you! I wasn’t a reader as a child either due to my home environment. I was a late bloomer at 7 years old. I’m happy that my little boy is also loving the joys of reading now
Wish more kids in my country are!